I am a 35 year-old woman and have been single for more than five years. I haven’t found my mate yet, and I feel so sad and unhappy. I have tried many times but I haven’t found the right man for me. Where could I find my ‘prince on the white horse’? Any ideas?
Christine from Phoenix, Arizona
Dear Christine,
Where would you like to meet the right man for you? At the library or the disco? At the opera, church or a nightclub? At a cafe or in a strip club?
Some single women search for years for a husband in pretty questionable places — nightclubs, discos, etc. — but they forget a very important thing: at the origin of these places is the unconscious need of ‘pairing’ — both sexes dress up provocatively, behave exuberantly and want to be noticed by as many potential mates as possible. But it is one thing to pair and it is another to search for a husband or a life mate. So, what can you do? I think it is important to know the following thing — how to go into a library in the same manner as you would a nightclub and vice-versa; learn how to be romantic at the cafe and distinguished/noted at the disco.
Usually, men are where intense things begin to happen, whether these things are cultural passions or inebriated actions; you can go further with some of them but the beginning is always taking place around where the men are, not where you are.
When a man touches a woman’s heart and makes her promises for life, a woman that comes into the actions of a man stays in his life. To come into a man’s actions can be difficult and delicate but always has effects. What does that mean? Challenge him to make actions and make things happen, observe his actions, make them evident and be their echo.
But I have the feeling that you focus too much on the thought that you haven’t had a life partner yet and that this perception of unpleasantness can easily turn into an obsession. The result will only be more feelings of loneliness, disappointment and sadness.
Specialists teach us that the vital force that determines what is happening in our life is the way we focus our mind. If you focus on what you want, you get what you want. If you focus on what you don’t want, you get what you don’t want. It sounds like an irony of fate, doesn’t it?! If you focus on troubles, you will attract more troubles in your life. If you focus on the lack of love, you will be without love.
So, be careful on what you focus your mind! If you think you will fail when it comes to meeting new people and getting into a relationship, you sabotage any chance of succeeding. That is because — unconsciously — you will do everything to avoid new men in your life, new opportunities to meet men, and then you will complain that you are alone and unhappy.
Christine, potential mates can be everywhere. What you should do is focus exactly on what you want, focus on a harmonious relationship with somebody who loves you, respects you, and understands you. Focus on feelings of joy, love, emotional comfort, and security that will bring the relationship you want. Focusing means to think insistently on the things you want and create mental images of those things. When you focus on something you create an internal state that pushes you to act in a certain way. It makes you observe things that you usually wouldn’t notice. It makes you pay attention to men and situations that will help you get closer to what you want. It makes you take the steps that will lead you to the desired outcome: finding the right man for you.
Here is what you should do, practically:
1.
Define very clearly what you want, what kind of man you would like to meet. You must have a clear idea of the man you want to meet. You cannot focus your mind on a vague idea. The more precise you are in knowing what kind of man you want, the better the chances to meet him. For example, your goal is: “to meet the right man for me that accepts me as I am, loves me and spends much time with me. I want the right man for me has the following qualities: …” Write down a detailed list that should be compatible with your features.
2.
Affirm your goal. Affirmations are enunciations of your intentions written at present tense, and are positive and are formulated, as your goal wouldn’t have been reached already. For example: “I attract harmonious relationships in my life”; “I give and get love”; “I meet the right man for me”; etc. Read them all aloud a few times at least two times per day. The best time for doing that is in the morning when you wake and in the evening before bedtime. Also, write them down on a piece of paper and place them in a place so as to always have them in front of your eyes.
3.
Visualize the final result. Create a mental image of the result at present tense as it has already happened. Involve yourself in this image with all your senses (sight, hearing, smelling, touching) and add positive emotions of joy, satisfaction, and peace to this image. Repeat this process of visualizing two times per day, also in the morning and in the evening. It will take you about 25-30 minutes but it is well-worth the investment of time.
4.
Feel the emotion that will accompany the fulfillment of your goal. The more emotions and feelings you add behind the thought, the more rapid the fulfillment will be. The result? Your wants will show as much of a frequency of visualizing and your emotional implications will be deeper/bigger.
The four steps are absolutely necessary for succeeding.
If you don’t know exactly what you want (step 1), it is pointless to try.
If you use affirmations only (step 2), you could expect a success rate of 10%.
If you use affirmations and visualizations (steps 2+3), you could expect a success rate of 55%.
If you use affirmations, visualizing mentally the final result, and feeling the emotion of this realization (steps 2+3+4), you can expect a success rate of 100%.
So, you know what you have to do. And you can have what you want.
Start right now to improve your love life. What are you waiting for?