The Love Crusade... starts with us... starts within us.
In life there are defining moments where you choose a path of fear or love. Early in my teens I struggled with body image but I was always able to choose to control my thoughts and turn them into love for myself and for my body. Then five years ago I found out that my Dad was dying.
I could not stop it from happening. I was afraid. It was out of my control. But what I could control was my food intake. I can even remember thinking, 'my dad can't eat anymore so why should I?' The road that I was taking was dark & miserable. I became so consumed with myself & with my weight that the enjoyment of living was fading fast. Comparing myself to others was very natural for me; most of the time I just couldn't measure up in my mind.
I judged myself harshly & became at war with my body. I was rejecting my body and my true self at an alarming rate. Although I wore a smile & appeared confident on the outside, inside I was frustrated and sad. I can remember thinking to myself, 'everything is a competition with me. I want to eat the least amount, weigh the least.' In the end, who wins? Not me, because I was miserable.
I would admire those who looked so happy when they ate & did it without a care...they would laugh & joke with friends when out to dinner. They seemed so free. That is what I wanted to be. I am fortunate that I was conscious of my destruction & with time & lots of self-work I came out the other side stronger than ever.
I started to just be the best me I could be. I started to accept & love what I was given, my bone structure, my muscle build. I took it one day at a time. When you truly love your body & who you are, that is living, that is happiness! Do I still have moments where I feel bloated or down about myself or about my body? ... Yes. But I keep them to just that... moments... because I have more important things to do with my time.
From a young age we learn to judge & compare ourselves to others. TV and magazines inundate us with pictures of the ideal body. Last week I was standing in line at the grocery store and there it was...an article asking us to judge which stars had the best 'backside'. As a society we are becoming more obsessed with judging & comparing. Every time you turn on the TV there is some reality show where everyone is competing against each other. Don't get me wrong. I am not disagreeing with contests; I am disagreeing with the end result. We have people who are loosing themselves because of the opinions of others. The opinion that counts the most is the one you have of yourself… no matter what others say.
Being conscious of the voices in your head that are comparing & judging is key because we all experience these voices. The question is... do you act on them?
Do you allow your judgments to stop you? Comparing & judging can be innocent and harmless if you allow the thoughts to be brief & pass by effortlessly. But they can be dangerous when these thoughts tear you apart. When you are constantly at war with yourself there is no moving forward to a life of happiness.
One exercise that really helps to keep me on track with self-acceptance & love is positive affirmations:
Write on a piece of paper: I am beautiful, I have a strong, healthy body, and I love & respect my body. (Even if you cringe just thinking about doing it, just do it.)
Fake it 'til you make it.
You may not believe it right now & your mind could be telling you all the reasons why you are not these positive things, but just make that fuel for the fire. Keep on saying these affirmations. Post them as many places as you can for happy reminders. Replace the old negative talk with positive reinforcement.
Choose your thoughts wisely or they will choose you.